In the midst of the media buzz on two separate murder cases of one middle-aged prominent lady and an innocent schoolgirl, another murder case made the headlines in Malay mainstream papers today. A brainy and pretty 27-year old research assistant who was scheduled to receive her Master’s degree in genetic biotechnology was stabbed to death, allegedly by a jealous 23-year old ex-boyfriend.
Despite being good in Silat Gayung, Allahyarham Norzi Ayu was reported to be too weak from fever to defend herself well against the unforeseen attack. The guy was, after all, a force to be reckoned with - the two met during their Silat Gayung classes. Poor Norzi managed to scribble her Tok Guru’s phone number and some note for help on a piece of paper and threw it down the corridor. A woman found the note, quickly called the Tok Guru who straight away hurried to Norzi Ayu’s flat – but was unable to talk some sense into the raging ex-boyfriend’s head. The highly-strung guy locked himself & Norzi in her flat, stabbed on her abdomen and ran away. By the time the Tok Guru managed to open up the door, Norzi was found lying on the floor, bleeding profusely. She was quickly rushed to the hospital, but had lost too much blood and passed away approximately five hours after she was stabbed.
A tragic death indeed.
To think that bakayaro guy had at one time imagined himself to be in love with her... Then he found out that she was going to marry someone else, who, unlike him, met her parents’ approval. What was his next step? Did he respect her wish to be with the other guy and back off civilly? Or wish her all the best and hope they could remain friends no matter what? No – he went and kill her instead. So much for his so-called love.
I remember a quotation I read in some book (the title of which I could not recall) when I was in Form Three - “if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
How true.
He should have let her go. Of course it is painful to let go. Of course it’s difficult to believe that it’s over when he strongly felt that he could not live without her. But love must be given and taken willingly – not given through forced coercion or pressure.
Unfortunately the obsessive ex-boy friend just didn’t get that part of love – of letting go gracefully and wishing her happiness once she realise that they were not suitable for each other, that they were not meant to be together. The unnecessary death and the following heartbreaks of so many people – her family, his family (following his arrest), the new beau, their many friends - could have been avoided had he agreed to let her go.
A successful relationship needs two people willing to work at it – having one persistent partner paired with a reluctant one spells disaster. The guy should have known that it’s better to cut free of ties with her once she has shown her unwillingness, and move on to build healthy relationship with another. After all – there are still so many girls out there. He's just 23 - so many years lie ahead. There are so many fish in the sea – or ponds/lakes/rivers out there. He just need to let go, move on and find another. And trust that time will always heal his pain. And believe that when a door of happiness closes, another opens.
Instead, he let the possessive and obsessive streaks in him got the better of him. Stabbing her, killing her would mean that she would not be with the other guy. Since he could not be with her, he might as well made sure that nobody else gets to be with her too, huh?
In the end, by refusing to let her go – he succeeded in ensuring that it’s a lose-lose situation for all.
How sad.
6 comments:
Too many gruesome murder stories flashing in front pages of our local newspapers. Somehow I think that it's bad for the kids but nevertheless it's a good reminder to all of us of what our society has become.
Thanks for your comment in Dina's Gongkapas. Actually I know about Yayasan T.A.Rahman, Yayasan Saad, etc. I just want to higlight the issue and what I really worried is the fund will never reach the mediocre poor kids in kampungs. Hence they will never have the access to a well equipped computer lab or a good library. It's good to know that your company is active in assisting the rural schools and I hope that many companies (esp. with Malay CEOs or Malay owned) will emulate that noble effort.
doc: thanks for dropping by. err, when i said my 'office', i was referring to my ministry. although we are under no (direct) obligation to the kids, my ministry do what little we can to help rural kids - an effort inherited from a former minister who had a humble beginning in Kanowit plus a KSU who hailed from Kuala Ketil...
and yes - i can agree that there's MORE need to be done to help underprivileged kampung kids... if each of us try to do what little we can - i'm quite sure that it can cause a pretty big difference...
You say there are a lot of fish in the sea/lake/river. But unfortunately, by a couple of decades there will be no more fish due to overfishing and pollution. By then, what fish that manage to survive would be mutated and poisonous. All the good and healthy fish will be gone.
And sadly, that is similar to what we have in society now. The environment that we have created in our pursue of development, have helped form these 'sick' souls and minds that cannot think with reasons, feel with heart and most importantly decide with faith. Unfortunately, these are the face of our society. The bad, the ugly and the sick!!
Unfortunately, all fishes in the sea/river/lake have long been mutated by pollutants!!
Daeng Peletih
Daeng: Since you seemed to be so worried about those fishes - why don't you go for fish rearing hobby? ;-)
Wonderer,
I was wondering...what happen to the "bakal tunang". Does anyone know who he is....other being one of the "arwah rakan sekerja".....
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